We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
