dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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