youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
