Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
