i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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