U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I'm too high and old for this...
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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