I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
