Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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