Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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