Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
