I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
