In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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