The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
