i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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