Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
