Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
