yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
