it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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