I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
