I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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