Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
vagina is talking i cant
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Randomize
