I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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