im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Randomize
