she smelled like a LAN party
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
