you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
