Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
