my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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