so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
