47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
