There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
A+ Viking dick
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize
