u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
