We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
