Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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