That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
