i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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