If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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