I think I died a long time ago.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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