somebody snuck up and got me drunk
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
