the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
