Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
