"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
