he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
This is my gift to your gina
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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