I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize