i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
