He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
