Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
