I don't think brook has ever known best
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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