I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
She's JV to your varsity
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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