yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
