1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
