OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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