I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
